


Stars and Screams

by Rigels_Nigels



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Attempts only but the warning just in case, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kinda, Star!Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 12:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16219352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rigels_Nigels/pseuds/Rigels_Nigels
Summary: The stars are full of many things, and for a child of the stars, they are full of love. But for this one, they are filled with so much more.





	Stars and Screams

He looked into the void, and the void did more than look back. It beckoned him, called out to him, spoke to him.   
It had for a while.   
Until new York it was just whispers, secrets softly murmured, always there, offering comfort.  
Now it was here, it broke through whatever barrier had been between them, and what once sounded like hushed sighs were now more like piercing clamors.   
It was both comforting and aggravating. It wouldn't ever quiet. Whereas before it was meager enough he could block it out with the rest of his thoughts, now it was upfront and demanding for his attention.   
He still tried to ignore it, had lots of practice, and it would work sometimes. Other times they would just get louder until they were the only thing he could hear.  
They weren't malicious though, despite how it may seem. At least not to him. They just didn't understand, couldn't understand, that humans had limits and as much as he hated limits and restrictions and confines and always tried to push past and break and redefine he could only do so much. 

(It was never enough no matter how he pushed and pushed)

So no, they weren't malicious, not really, but they could be possessive, defensive, protective. It was how they were, for themselves and those they coveted and loved.  
They delighted and preened under his attention, whispering words of devotion and love. They raged and ranted at those who would hurt him, telling him weaknesses and strategies to get back at whoever it was. They considered and concerned over those he loved, alerting him to possible problems and giving tips to fix it and make it better.  
And they screamed with sorrow as they could do nothing but watch as the world ripped him apart and picked at the still living corpse. Screamed as he destroyed himself with drink and words and work. Screamed as he stood at the top of the MIT building, watching nothing and everything and calculating what his velocity would be if he fell, as he glared at the little of pills in his hand, calculating (always calculating) how many he'd need and how long it'd take to die, as he jumped in front of cars because of a dare, as he drowned himself in liquor and sex and risked his life over and over again, refusing to listen to their insights.

After the screaming came the confusion and gentle oh so quiet questions. 

They tried to help, in their own way, but again they couldn't understand, even humans themselves couldn't understand. But they tried, and they cared, and to him that's all that really mattered. To him, that was enough.

To them, it would never be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thx for reading :)
> 
> So i was looking through some of my old fics and found this and at first i was real confused about it and what it was about but then i realised, oh yeahthat star tony thing. Anyways i added a bit to it cause i wasnt feeling to good mr stark so here u go.
> 
> Anyway i might continue w/ this idea for hopefully longer and more specific things. Who knows ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
